


The One Who Noticed

by DecadentCollectionDestiny



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Crying, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, November 20 Interrogation (Persona 5), Persona 5 Spoilers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Drugs, References to physical abuse, Studio Ghibli References, Supportive Sakamoto Ryuji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28535628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecadentCollectionDestiny/pseuds/DecadentCollectionDestiny
Summary: The plan to convince the world of the leader of the Phantom Thieves' death went off without a hitch, but afterward, only one person noticed how much pain, physical and mental, it left Akira in.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira & Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 8
Kudos: 113





	The One Who Noticed

**Author's Note:**

> Rated Teen for language and themes of trauma and abuse.
> 
> !!TW!! Persona 5 interrogation room scene (references of drugs and physical abuse), PTSD symptoms
> 
> Inspired by a post by @akiki-inverno on Tumblr
> 
> This can honestly be seen as either romantic or platonic so, you know. Interpret it however you want.

_ I’m exhausted… It feels like my consciousness is about to fade away… _

__ Even though it had been only a little less than twenty-four hours since he had been arrested, Akira’s mind and body still ached all over. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Sae Niijima’s voice sounded far away. “Don’t fall asleep until we reach our destination.”

Akira couldn’t see. He didn’t even know whether his eyes were open or closed. 

“Are you listening?”

He barely was.  Akira’s mind was a blur. His body hurt. _ Is this the effect of the drug wearing off? _

Before too long, although it was impossible for Akira to tell exactly how much time had passed, the taxi had arrived in Yongen-Jaya and Sojiro was helping him to the door of Leblanc. He winced as he put weight on his right leg, and Sojiro steadied him with an arm. They made their way to the door, and Sojiro opened it.

“Look who’s here,” he said, and there they all were. Akira’s friends were waiting for him, and his weary face broke into a wide smile when he saw them. Especially one, standing closest to the door and looking the most impatient. That boy was the first to reach him as Akira’s friends all rushed towards him.

“Whoa, easy there,” said Sojiro as Ryuji threw an arm tightly around Akira’s shoulders. Akira didn’t mind. Ryuji’s strong arm was doing a good job of keeping him upright. And he hadn’t realized how much he had needed this - Ryuji’s arm around him - until right now.

“Hey, you big bastard!” Ryuji’s grin was infectious.

“How’ve you been?” asked Ann.

_ I’ve been better, _ was Akira’s honest answer, but he couldn’t say that. Not in front of everybody. He was the leader of the Phantom Thieves. He needed to be stronger than that. “I mean, I died…” he said instead.

The group laughed. “You must be fine if you’re joking around like that.” 

Akira exhaled. Good. Now maybe they wouldn’t notice how the only thing keeping him on his feet was Ryuji’s support.

“It truly is a relief to see your face,” Makoto smiled.

“I bet that moron Akechi don’t even know we tricked him yet!” crowed Ryuji. 

Sojiro scratched his head. “Still, how’d you pull this off? Isn’t this guy considered dead?”

“You weren’t told anything?” asked Makoto. And the complicated, lengthy explanation of how the entire operation had been planned and executed began. Akira tried his hardest to pay attention, seeing as he himself could only barely remember these details, but the fuzziness in his head and the pain in his body made it hard to concentrate. He was glad nobody was looking at him. He was sure that it was visible on his face that he was barely conscious. He didn’t want anyone to see that.

By the time Akechi’s slip-up in regards to Morgana’s voice was brought up, Akira’s balance was swaying. Ryuji had let go of him and Akira could feel that he was heading for the floor. As he shifted, he accidentally put too much weight on his right leg and grimaced in pain.

And finally, someone noticed. Akira saw Ryuji glance down at Akira’s leg, then back up to his face. “You good?” he mouthed.

Akira shook his head weakly, barely moving his head. His breath caught in his throat as his balance tipped slightly. To his relief and instant comfort, Ryuji caught him, wrapping a supporting arm around his waist. “Come on,” he whispered, leading Akira to one of Leblanc’s booth seats as the others continued talking. Akira lowered himself gently into the seat, leaning back with a deep, shaky exhale. 

“Mona was the only one who was talkin’ about a pancake,” said Ryuji as he gave Akira’s shoulder a final squeeze, before leaning against the bar. “That meant Akechi’d already been in the Metaverse by then!”

Akira managed to pick his head back up from the back of the seat. The conversation was a blur from there. Akira was only able to reel himself back and focus when he was asked a direct question, or when he realized he hadn’t spoken for too long. He didn’t pay attention to if the others were reacting to his condition, like when he mentioned how hazy the drugs had made his memory. He didn’t want to seem like he was expecting their sympathy. He did notice, however, that nobody said anything about it, except Makoto in passing, who only called his treatment “utterly abnormal”, after which the topic shifted towards everyone else’s feelings, from when they had first heard the news until now. During all this, Akira tried arduously to keep himself from losing consciousness right there in his seat.

When the meeting was finally over, it was a relief for Akira to sit on his own bed in the cool darkness of his own room. He wasn’t alone yet, though. Morgana, Futaba, and Sojiro were with him, Morgana sitting on the bed beside him, Futaba standing at the foot of the bed, and Sojiro near the stairs. Everyone was quiet. Futaba had told Akira that he could ask her more about how exactly the plan had been executed, but, frankly, Akira was not in the headspace to do that right now. 

“Well, I guess I’d better head downstairs and close up,” said Sojiro after a while. “You get some rest, okay?” 

“Okay,” Akira replied. “Thanks.”

“Imma head out too!” said Futaba, prancing over to the stairs. “See ya tomorrow, Akira.”

“Yep,” Akira nodded. “See you.” Morgana followed Futaba down the stairs, after playfully twitching his tail in Akira’s face.

And finally he was alone. Akira sighed and let his head sag to his chest. He barely had enough energy to move. He was too exhausted to even think about getting up to do anything at all. He just sat there.

Just then, from downstairs, Akira began to hear loud voices. It took him by surprise. He had been sure everyone had gone home by now.

“What?!” came Ryuji’s harsh voice. “What’re you talkin’ about?”

Akira heard a girl reply, Ann, maybe.

“Are you effin’ serious?” Ryuji’s voice was rising. “ _ That’s  _ why you didn’t say anything? I just didn’t wanna embarrass him!”

A high voice responded indistinctly.

“Just ‘cause he’s our leader don’t mean he’s freakin’ invincible! He still feels it! What the hell is wrong with you guys?! You know what, just -” The voice became quiet and Akira could no longer make out what it was saying. A few seconds later, he heard the front door slam. He didn’t know what was going on, and he didn’t mind that. He didn’t have enough brainpower to care right then. 

There was quiet in the attic bedroom again. Akira’s head still felt like a heavy weight on his neck. He managed to lift it slightly and touch one of the cuts on his cheek lightly. His fingertips came away red. 

The sound of footsteps on the stairs made Akira strain to pick up his head. Did Sojiro forget something?

It was Ryuji. He paused at the top of the stairs when he saw Akira. “Hey,” he said quietly. 

“Hey,” Akira replied. “What… what are you doing here?”

“You want me to leave?”

Akira shook his head. “No.”

Ryuji crossed the floor and sat down on the bed next to Akira. “I didn’t wanna say anythin’ back there, but…'' he began. “You’re… you got… pretty banged up, huh?”

Akira nodded. “Yep.”

“And… drugs too?”

“Yep.”

“Wow…” Ryuji exhaled, staring at the floor. “Hey - I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I didn’t know how rough it’d be. I don’t… I would’ve wanted to rethink the plan some more if I’d known this woulda happened to you.”

“S’alright. I’ll be fine.”

Ryuji looked sceptical, but he dropped the subject. “You get looked at at all?” he asked.

“No.”

“Okay…” Ryuji nodded. He stood up. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna go grab some stuff. I think there’s a first-aid kit in the bathroom.”

Akira nodded, letting his chin sink back down to his chest. Ryuji paused for a moment, then took a few steps toward the stairs.

“I don’t even… remember a lot of it.”

Ryuji stopped.

“And I don’t think it’s just because of the drugs.”

Ryuji turned around. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

“I remember… waking up in a dark room,” Akira said, ignoring him. “I was cold… and wet… And… then I was on the floor… and he kicked me…”

Ryuji went over to him and crouched on the floor in front of him. “Look. Akira. You don’t need to do this. Makoto’s sis said you don’t hafta remember stuff like this.”

Akira shook his head. “No, I - I want to. I want to talk about it. If you want to listen.”

Ryuji nodded. He sat back down on the bed next to Akira. “Go ahead,” he said, wrapping an arm around Akira. “I’m right here.”

Akira swallowed hard. “And so… he gave me the confession…” he continued. “And I pushed it away… And he stomped on my leg… so hard. I thought… it would snap right in half…” 

Ryuji scowled. “The bastards. I noticed you couldn’t put weight on one foot.” Akira saw him look over at him out of the corner of his eye, his face heavy with concern. He gently reached over and lifted Akira’s chin to look at him. With his other hand, he took off Akira’s glasses and brushed his bangs away from his face. “Looks like you got a goose egg here too.” He touched Akira’s forehead gingerly. 

“Oh yeah.” Akira had forgotten. It seemed like it had been forever ago. “I was… climbing a ladder trying to get away at Niijima’s Palace. At the top… someone hit me in the face with the butt of his gun… and I fell down…“ His voice was shaking. His hands were shaking. His whole being was shaking.

“You fell?” Ryuji looked astonished. “How far?”

Akira sighed. “I dunno. I - I dunno. I landed on my back. It knocked the wind out of me.” Akira felt his breathing growing harder and more rapid against his will. “And that’s when they arrested me… and took me into that room… and gave me the shot…”

His heart rate was skyrocketing and his palms were moist. “It hurt… it hurt so much… and I could barely see… and it was cold… and dark…” 

“Akira…” Ryuji said quietly, but Akira kept going.

“Why… why isn’t it working?” he asked frantically. “I thought talking about it would make it easier… I thought it would help… but… but…”

And at that, Akira burst into tears. Ryuji leaned over and wrapped his other arm around him. Feeling it, Akira sat up and hugged Ryuji, holding onto him for dear life as he sobbed. “I just want it to stop. I just want it to stop.” He had never hugged anyone so tightly in his entire life and, now that he thought about it, there was no one else he would rather have holding him so close at a time like this.

“It’s okay,” Ryuji whispered. He patted Akira on the back as he spoke softly. “It’s alright, man. Just let it out. Just let it out, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

Akira was still holding onto Ryuji. “‘Don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece,’ he said.” He took a deep, quivering breath. “He said ‘don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece’.”

“The goddamn sons of bitches,” Ryuji growled. He rubbed his thumb across Akira’s shoulder. “I swear to you, if I ever get my hands on him…” Akira felt him tighten his hold, and it was very welcome.

Finally, Akira pulled away. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

“Hey, don’t even think about apologizin’,'' Ryuji scolded, his hands on Akira’s shoulders. “You went through hell last night. Anyone who’s gone through somethin’ like that is totally allowed to cry as much as they damn well please.” 

Akira swallowed and nodded. “Okay. Thank you.” 

"You okay now?"  


"No."

Ryuji smiled. "That's okay."

Akira sighed. “I’m so tired.”

“I know.” Ryuji gave Akira’s shoulders a squeeze. “I’m gonna go grab that first-aid kit. Alright?”

Akira nodded again.  


Ryuji stood up and headed for the stairs. He paused when he got to them. “Y’know, it’s funny…” he said. “I used to think I’d completely suck at comfortin’ somebody like this. But as soon as it was you who needed it… I somehow knew exactly what to do.” And with that he started down the stairs, leaving Akira’s gaze lingering on him as he left.

Akira sucked in his breath and winced as Ryuji dabbed at his face with alcohol.

“Sorry… Almost done…” Ryuji finished cleaning the large abrasion on Akira’s cheek and covered it with a bandage. “There ya go. All finished.”

“Thanks.” Akira reached up to gently touch the bandage.

“No no no. Don’t touch.”

“Right.” Akira nodded and lowered his hand. “Right.” His stomach let out a loud growl.

Ryuji’s eyebrows raised. “You haven’t even eaten yet?”

Akira thought for a moment. “I… guess not.” He looked up at the ceiling. “When was the last time I ate? …Yesterday… lunch?”

“Oh yeah…” Ryuji bit his lip. “You’ve been considered dead since last night… and you only got back just now…“ 

He hopped off the bed where he had been sitting. “Alright then, I’ll go run down to the store and get us some food.”

Something about that made Akira uneasy. “...Okay.”

“You good with that?”

“…Hurry back.”

Ryuji smiled. “I will. I’ll be right back. You just hang tight for a sec, alright?”

Akira nodded weakly and Ryuji disappeared down the stairs. And not one minute had passed before Akira found himself slumping down to his side on the bed and closing his eyes.

Akira jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He gasped and his eyes snapped open. Ryuji was standing over him holding a bag. “Did I scare you?” he asked. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Akira rubbed his head and sat up. “S’okay,” he mumbled. “I wasn’t asleep.” It was the truth.

“Mm hmm. Alright, here’s what we got…” He dumped out his bag on the bed and food spilled out. “Sandwich for me,” he said, grabbing an egg sandwich. “Water.” He took one water bottle and handed the other to Akira. “And I got you a buncha rice balls. I figured you’d be starvin’.”

Akira sloshed the water in the water bottle from side to side. “I’m actually… not that hungry.”

“You sure?” Ryuji asked. “You gotta eat somethin’, dude. Just one rice ball?”

Akira hesitated, but Ryuji was already peeling the wrapper off of one of the rice balls. “Okay then.” The bed sank down as Ryuji sat next to him and handed him the rice ball. He received it and took a half-hearted nibble. “Is this… fried rice?”

“Yep.”

“That’s… my favorite.”

Ryuji grinned. “I know.”

Akira smiled and took another bite. As he chewed, his eyes began to bubble up with tears and he started to cry again. It wasn’t desperate, heaving sobs like he had done a few minutes before. It was a quiet stream of tears flowing out of his eyes and down his face. It was the residual tension sliding out of him. It was what had been left after that great big waterfall of tears, stuck behind a door that could only be opened with a tender gesture of security and comfort.

And so Akira ate the rice ball and cried, with Ryuji’s arms around him the whole time.

“Don’t worry ‘bout the leftovers,” said Ryuji, stuffing his sandwich wrapper in his pocket. “We can save ‘em for tomorrow morning.”

Akira swallowed a sip of water. “Tomorrow morning? What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m stayin’ with you tonight. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

Akira put down his water bottle. “Are you ser- Ryuji, no.”

“Ryuji yes, dammit! What if you need something in the night? And first thing in the morning I’m takin’ your ass to Takemi to get that leg of yours checked out. As soon as she opens. I don’t care that you’re supposed to be dead.”

“Wh - but -” Akira stammered. “She doesn’t open till… 9. Isn’t - what day is it? Isn’t tomorrow a school day?”

“Do I look like I give a shit? I’m ditchin’ to take care of you. And do  _ not  _ try to change my mind.” Ryuji pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m gonna call my mom and tell her I’m spendin’ the night. Should you… get ready to get some sleep?”

“‘Kay.” Akira wanted to give a better response, but he was just too exhausted. Ryuji smiled at him, turned around, and raised his phone to his ear.

Akira unbuttoned his jacket as he listened to Ryuji talk on the phone. “Hey Mom, it’s me. …Yeah, I know it’s late. I’m really sorry. Listen, my friend Akira… Yeah, that’s the one. He’s… not doin’ so great right now. So I’m gonna stay the night at his place and make sure he’s okay, if that’s alright with you.” Akira wiggled his arms out of the sleeves of his jacket and started pulling his turtleneck over his head. “Okay, thanks. …Yeah, I know. …Uh huh.” After much effort, Akira finally got his turtleneck off and slowly and sluggishly stood up to find his pajamas. “Okay. I love you too. G’night.” 

Ryuji hung up the phone and turned back around. “Got the okay,” he said. “Are you-” His face fell when he saw Akira. 

“What?” asked Akira. Ryuji still stared, saying nothing.

Akira looked down at his bare torso and realized that Ryuji was staring at the large blue and purple contusion on his stomach. “Oh.”

Ryuji started walking towards Akira, still saying nothing, his face still utterly despondent.

“It - It’s not that bad,” Akira tried to convince him. “It… looks a lot worse than it is.”

Ryuji reached Akira and stopped, still staring at the bruise. He touched it gently with the tips of his fingers. Akira grimaced. “It hurts?” Ryuji asked quietly. Akira nodded. “Sorry.” Ryuji pulled his hand away, still not meeting Akira’s eyes. “I…” he began. In all the time that they had been friends, Akira had never known Ryuji to become lost for words.

“It…” he continued. “It never gets easier. Y’know… seein’ someone you care about hurt. ‘Specially in the real world.” Ryuji’s round brown eyes became shiny as he spoke. “‘Cause in - in the Metaverse it just - goes away. But here, I can’t just give you a katsu bun and make it all better. I - I can’t…” Ryuji shut his eyes tightly. “I can’t fix it. I can’t just take all the pain away for you. I can’t… I can’t…”

“Ryuji…”

Ryuji shook his head and wiped at his eye. “No. Nope, this ain’t about me.” He sniffled and raised his head, looking Akira in the eyes. “I’m here for  _ you. _ I’m gonna take care of you. Everything’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be alright. And… and… yeah.” He smiled at Akira. “I fuckin’ love you, man. You know that, right?”

Akira smiled back. “Yeah. I love you too,” he said, before cutting himself off with an enormous yawn.

Ryuji laughed. “C’mon, let’s get you in bed already. Where’re your pjs?” Akira pointed and Ryuji fetched them from the box where all of Akira’s clothes were kept. Akira sat down to put his pajama shirt on while Ryuji knelt on the floor and began to untie Akira’s shoes.

“Oh - you don’t have to-”

“I know.”

“Look - don’t even worry ‘bout it, dude.” Ryuji laid down on the couch and rested his head on his rolled-up sweatshirt. “See, look, it’s totally fine - no, put that back. I’m not takin’ your pillow.”

“Are you sure?” Akira asked from where he sat in his bed.

“Sure I’m sure. Now listen. You need anything - anything at all, you wake me up, ya hear?”

“Okay,” Akira lied. He felt bad enough that Ryuji felt like he had to stay over. He was sure he could get anything he might need quietly enough to not wake him up.

“Good,” Ryuji nodded. He yawned. “Well then, g’night.”

“Good night,” Akira replied. After watching Ryuji get settled and close his eyes, he let himself fall over onto his back and into bed. His bed had never felt more comfortable and his eyelids had never felt heavier. But still…

The minutes ticked by as Akira lay still in the darkness, his eyes closed, unable to drift off to sleep. Something inside him was preventing him from relaxing, even though his body was begging for rest. He turned over onto his side hoping that would help. It didn’t. He put his pillow over his head, pulled it off again, kicked off the blanket, pulled it back over himself, tossed and turned to no end. 

It wasn’t Akira’s brain that at last allowed him to sleep. It was his body, forcing himself to give in after over thirty-six exhausting hours without a single moment of rest. And so Akira finally slipped into a fitful sleep.

He was back in the interrogation room. His hands were cuffed. He couldn’t move.

There were men in suits, dozens of them, more than should have fit in the small room, crowding around him, towering over him. 

Akira looked up at them in horror and immediately felt the blood drain from his face. His pulse began to race and he started to shake all over. It was the only movement he was capable of.

The men didn’t speak. The whole room was filled with a thick, suffocating silence. The men’s unyielding gazes bore into Akira like laser beams as his eyes flitted frenziedly from one stone cold face to another and he sat motionless, powerless.

The deafening noiselessness and Akira’s own pounding heartbeat that threatened to tear his chest in two became too much. Akira screamed. There was no reaction from the assembly of men surrounding him. They didn’t even flinch. Akira screamed again.

One of the men closest to Akira shook his head. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

The men began to close in, slowly, step by step, growing closer and closer to the chair in which Akira sat. And they spoke, all at once, seemingly in one voice.

“Give it up!”

“We are going to make you understand.”

“You should know your place.”

“Come on, cooperate!”

“You still haven’t figured it out?”

The cacophony of voices grew louder and louder in Akira’s ears, drowning out his screams.

“We are going to make you understand.”

“There are no laws here that will protect criminals like you!”

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece.”

“Don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece.”

“Don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece.”

Akira sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath, his heart beating wildly out of his chest. The pure terror had seized him, and the only thing that he could force out of his mouth in a hysterical shriek was the one thing he wanted, the one thing he needed at that very moment.

“Ryuji!”

Ryuji was up in an instant. “Huh? Akira? What? What’s goin’ on? Are you okay?” Seeing Akira sitting up in bed, he scrambled onto the bed to sit in front of him. He cradled Akira’s face in both of his hands. “Hey, what’s happenin’? What’s happenin’, are you okay?”

Akira began to calm down and regain his bearings. It was late. His bedroom was dark except for the moonlight streaming through the window and illuminating Ryuji’s face. “Dream…” he panted. “Bad… bad dream.”

“Oh…” Without another word, Ryuji pulled Akira close and held him tight. Akira wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his chest, and Ryuji’s steady heartbeat began to calm his frantic one.

“You’re okay,” Ryuji whispered. He ran his hand through Akira’s hair, and Akira could feel his fingers going up and down his scalp. “I’m right here. I’ve got you. You’re safe. Nothing’s gonna hurt you. I promise. It’s alright.”

“I know… it’s just a dream,” Akira said, letting his annoyance at himself seep through.

Ryuji shook his head. “Doesn’t make it any less real.” 

Akira let out a deep exhale. Having someone there, having Ryuji there, to see and to feel and to hold, it was the ultimate solace for Akira. He hated to think what he would have done had he been alone right then, all by himself in the dark attic. “I think… I’m better now.”

“You’re good?”

“Yeah. Don’t let go though.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The two continued holding each other, eventually both lowering themselves to lie on the bed, arms and legs still intertwined. Neither said anything. The stars moved across the sky outside and the attic bedroom was quiet and calm.

This time, it took Akira a fraction of the time to fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon that physical injuries in the Metaverse disappear instantly and completely when the person uses a healing item, and normal foods like katsu buns and dango gain healing properties as soon as they pass into the Metaverse and lose them when they leave, hence Ryuji's line about it being harder to see his friends hurt in the real world and not being able to make it go away with just food.
> 
> BTW, did anyone catch the Studio Ghibli reference? ;)


End file.
